A lIttle Update!

First day and no tears!!!! This is huge if you Kaylin or me for that matter, last year we both cried.

Bike Riding

"I'm done, this hill is too hard"

She did so good and even though she feel a couple times, don't worry Stefan caught her, she never hit the ground, she kept going and tried so hard to ride by her self. I am so proud of her effort.

BTW this beautiful baby Kaylin is holding is another reason for the aforementioned baby lust. She is my newest niece, born Aug. 24 and I can't get enough, at least I can live vicariously through Cindy's baby with out the reality of all the work.


First Day school

She is so ready to start school and was so disappointed that she didn't get to take a lunch and stay on the first day, it was meat the teacher and go home day.

School is in full swing and we are all adjusted to the new routine, except Alyssa, she wants to go to school every day; just wait little one your day will come and one day you will not like it so much. I am loving this rotation in nursing school, it is the OB/PEDS rotation and it is great. I could not have asked for a better clinical instructor and if I can't be with my school pals this clinical group is the next best thing, really I love everything about school right now. I am growing in my confidence as a nurse and learning a lot, which I am sure will be brought back down to reality once I actually get a job. I know i say this each semester, but I think I found or refound my calling. Ever since I decided to be a nurse and go back to school I wanted to do labor and delivery or postpartum except last semester when I wanted to go to CRNA school, but what was I thinking, really that is so not realistic with two kids and a husband. And now I am back in love with L/D and postpartum, the more I learn about it and the more time I spend there the more I love it and want to do it. Did I mention that all this baby stuff is having a common and powerful side effect on me, the baby lust, yes I want another on so bad. There, I said it I want another baby! For some of you that is a shock and for some you already know. But either way well see if it passes or not.

On another note, kaylin finally got her bike and is learning to ride without training wheels. the first time went good, she didn't give up and really tried and gave it her all. She is two weeks into soccer and I am supper excited for the games to start. Alyssa is desperate to walk to go school and go everyday. Every time we get ready to go to her school she wants to walk, which by the way would be a 7 mile walk (not happening) and when Stefan leaves to take Kaylyn she wants to know why she can't go to everyday. Oh to be young and naive, one day she will dread school but i hope not soon enough and that she always has this level of excitement for it.

The power of peer pressure

We always thing of peer pressure as a bad thing but today I saw it work in a positive way in Kaylin's life. She has a long history of being afraid of the water wouldn't get off the steps, then she wouldn't get in with out her floaty, then she would jump with it, and today when she saw all her friends swimming and jumping in without floats or any one catching her she decided she would try it, and she did it. She jumped of the diving board and swam back by her self, and not just once but multiple times.

As a mom I am so proud of her because this is huge, the girl who two years ago wouldn't get off the steps without screaming is swimming like a big girl! I saw today that the pendulum is shifting in my daughters life where the opinion of her peers ways heavier than that of her parents. This is both scary and exciting, but today it helped her do something we thought she would not do!

It's that time again. . . .Time for school . . . .

"I'm a great cooker!" (So cute her words exactly)

Ready for meet the teacher night with her school supplies and her new big kid hair cut, notice the bangs and long hair, her idea.

WOW, I can't believe aother summer has come and gone. This time last year I was starting nursing school, kaylin was starting Kindergarten, and Alyssa was starting preschool; now I am starting my last year of nursing school, Kaylin is in first grade and Alyssa is in pre-k.

Forget the fact that My oldest child is a first grader and that my baby only has one more year before big kid school, but I am going to be a nurse this time next year! That is crazy and scary. I feel in no way am I ready to be a nurse, to be resopsible for patients. Not to mention I have to find a job which I have never had to really do before and I have to interview, AGGGGHHHHHH, that I have never done and am very nervious about. I am sure it will all work out but for now I am a mixed up ball of emotions. Part of me is excited, part of me is ready to be done, part of me is proud of my self, but a huge part is just plain scared of all the changes that are going to be happening.

I have a first grader!

Weird huh, I have a first grader! When my grandmother pointed that out the other week I wouldn't even hear it. My baby isn't that old yet and neither am I, at least that was my thought, but today it is official; Kaylin has graduated Kindergarten and is promoted to First grade. Her teacher put together a book with pictures from throughout the year and drawing they did, it made me a little sad because she is growing up so fast and i can't do any thing to stop it. Sometimes I just want to freeze time and enjoy this moment, but like many wise parents who have been there ahead of me have said, "it goes fast enjoy every day." The further along I get in this parenting thing the more I believe them. Kaylin was just born last week and now she is out of Kindergarten! How did that happen so fast and where was I?

Any way We are the proud parents of a first grader and preschooler!!

Here we Go last day of Kindergarten!

The big moment! Getting her certificate!

Mrs. Meshack, the best Kindergarten teacher, definitely an answer to my prayers for Kaylin for a teacher!

Proud Parents!

Her "girls" Carol, Kaylin, Lacy, Faith, Hayden, Sarah

Words you never want to hear . . .

Today when I went to pick Kaylin up from school her teacher immediately stopped me and said "we had quit a day!" Not a phrase I look forward to ever hearing but have heard before. It was her next words that shocked me, "double red." What does that mean, she went all the way on the discipline chart. This has not been a good week for Kaylin, two days on yellow and today, she was only in school for four days, so do the math. As a mom I am not sure what to think about all this. I know her behavior doesn't reflect me but rather her bad choices, but it is hard to not take it personal. I now she is a great kid and is loving and kind but today she had a bad day. We all have bad days and make bad choices, but tomorrow will be better than today. Today is another reminder of how God loves me, that even though I make bad choices he still accepts me and love me and believes that best in me. I know Kaylin is a good kid who is sweet and loving and I still believe she is great and capable of treating her Friends with love!

Okay, its been a while,

So here we go. . .
Kaylin had a birthday! Turned six!She had a great day. She invited her friends to Creative Hands, a pottery place, and had a blast. After that we had family fun day at Alley cats, can you say expensive! But it was fun any way! A few weeks later we had a family party with a Hannah Montana pinata, it was great. I can't believe she is six, and almost through with Kindergarten, and losing teeth left and right, how did this happen and how can I stop it???? Any way i love watching her grow and learn and become more of who God made her to be, sweet, sensitve, caring, and genuine.



Alyssa got a great haircut, and it is soooooooo cute!

Her commit was, "I love my new hair cut." When I washed it she said "my hair cut is gone!" and when I dried it she said "my hair cut is back." The other day she said "I want my hair cut back," it is so cute hearing her response and seeing how she processes the change. i just love how cute she is, just absolutely cute!!!!!


Me and the girls went to Branson to see my sister and nieces,
We had so much fun playing at Cindy's, going to the park for McDonald's Happy meals, going to Dixie Stampede, and the best part was going out with just the grown ups! Grown up time is such a necessity after a 8 hour drive and before another 8 hour drive can and should be attempted. Speaking of the 8 hour drive the drive home was definitely an adventure!!!

Kaylin lost her third tooth!!! At home and not at school!!!
Every tooth she has lost has happened at school and Mrs. Meshack got the first view, but this one was mine. She showed it to me Friday and I was so hoping it would fall out during the break and it did!!! She has been wiggling it all week and today she pulled it, and by the way top teeth bleed, a lot, but now I got to go be tooth fairy before I forget!!! Some days I love being a mom!!!

Hope you guys are still there and if you are I post much, much, more frequently on facebook, so keep up with me there.

How could I ever do this if it weren't for GRACE

i never realized how hard it is to be a mom and a student, more specifically a nursing student, because nursing school is hard and very consuming. It is so hard to be all things to all people with out not crashing occasionally. Last night was one of those nights for me, I crashed. I felt like the worst mom ever for not doing anything for Kaylin's birthday, I only spent like 10 min. with her because I had a test today I had to study for last night. I had to miss her Valentines program at school, and I have been fighting with Stefan since Sunday. I would like say it will get better now that the test is over but I feel like there is always some new pressure as soon as one goes away. I feel pressed in on every side and am so full of guilt it shouldn't be possible. I am glad I love a God who is full of grace and have kids that will remember this season through the eyes of grace. They won't remember what I didn't do like I do, which only tortures myself, they will remember what I did do. I am thankful that God gives kids the ability to remember the good things, I just wish as an adult we could let things go and remember things through the eyes of grace. Remember the good things people did or the fun times. I for one need to learn that lesson. I am grateful for a wise dad who shared that advice with me, can't claim it, I'm definitely not that smart yet!
I don't think I fully understood what I signed up for when I filled out the application and dreamed of going to nursing school. I think there is a reason for that because if we knew what we were getting into, half the things we do we never would have done. Some of the best things in life are also the hardest. This season is one of the harder ones for sure, but I would not change it. I have made some great friends at school and I am doing something I know God has planned for me and that I can use to demonstrate his love. With everything else all I can do is my best and have hope that God's grace covers things that aren't so good, fixes things that aren't right, finishes things that aren't done, and keeps me strong when I want to fall apart.