How could I ever do this if it weren't for GRACE

i never realized how hard it is to be a mom and a student, more specifically a nursing student, because nursing school is hard and very consuming. It is so hard to be all things to all people with out not crashing occasionally. Last night was one of those nights for me, I crashed. I felt like the worst mom ever for not doing anything for Kaylin's birthday, I only spent like 10 min. with her because I had a test today I had to study for last night. I had to miss her Valentines program at school, and I have been fighting with Stefan since Sunday. I would like say it will get better now that the test is over but I feel like there is always some new pressure as soon as one goes away. I feel pressed in on every side and am so full of guilt it shouldn't be possible. I am glad I love a God who is full of grace and have kids that will remember this season through the eyes of grace. They won't remember what I didn't do like I do, which only tortures myself, they will remember what I did do. I am thankful that God gives kids the ability to remember the good things, I just wish as an adult we could let things go and remember things through the eyes of grace. Remember the good things people did or the fun times. I for one need to learn that lesson. I am grateful for a wise dad who shared that advice with me, can't claim it, I'm definitely not that smart yet!
I don't think I fully understood what I signed up for when I filled out the application and dreamed of going to nursing school. I think there is a reason for that because if we knew what we were getting into, half the things we do we never would have done. Some of the best things in life are also the hardest. This season is one of the harder ones for sure, but I would not change it. I have made some great friends at school and I am doing something I know God has planned for me and that I can use to demonstrate his love. With everything else all I can do is my best and have hope that God's grace covers things that aren't so good, fixes things that aren't right, finishes things that aren't done, and keeps me strong when I want to fall apart.

Snow Day....

I love snow days, or should I say ice days cause in Texas we never get snow any more!!!
I got two days off school and the girls got today off. We had a lot of fun, we danced and they did my hair, and watched movies. The day was great the only down side is all this time off is setting a bad nonstudy routine that I fear my bite me in a month when it is test time. I gotta get refocused and study. Oh well, start fresh next week when things are more normal, at least if we don't get any more ice.
I am really exhausted after being with the girls inside all day, not used to being with both of them all day any more, not ready for summer yet.

My life as I knew it is officially over....

So if you don't hear from me or see any new pictures blame it on the insane reading list and clinical rotation I am on. I started reading today for tomorrow and it is like what? I swear it only makes sense if you are a doctor, which I am not! Or a super freak, which I am not! Any way, my schedule is way crazy and getting used to a new schedule is so my favorite thing to do, so I am a little stressed right now. So if you don't hear from me just be patient and keep checking, eventually I'll get a break!

Oh and if you think about it just pray for me and my family as we ride through another semester in nursing school, I need grace and understanding, so need understanding.

Oh I miss this already!!!!

BACK TO THE GRIND....

Christmas vacation is over and it is back to school, at least for the girls, I still have two glorious weeks to my self which I am totally going to enjoy! I plan to shop and scrapbook, and to end it properly I will spend a long weekend in Austin for my family's annual girls weekend.

Here are some fun Christmas pictures to hold you over and to remind me of a fun Christmas week, I choose to forget last week. It was one of those you don't want to remember and if you are a mom of two girls two years apart you probably understand exactly what I am talking about. The fighting, the arguing, the whining, "will it ever end" was my song last week.

Visit with Santa

We went to down town Ft. Worth to visit Santa and the girls loved it. They were both excited and they both sat with him and told him they wanted Polly Pockets, looks like we are going ot have a Polly Pocket Christmas!

Christmas here we come

It is almost Christmas time and here are the girls Christmas pictures. They are cute and very ready for Christmas!

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas. . .

I love this time of year, have I mentioned that before? I love the decorating, the tree, the lights and the presents, I love giving and watching my children open their gifts. We got our tree up this week and I love it. I love having a big beautiful tree. For me growing up I loved decorating the tree but being the type A child i was, I was a very frustrated tree decorator because I had to decorate with some not so much type A siblings. I did the best I could getting my ornaments evenly distributed but I dreamed of that day when I would have my own tree and it would be evenly distributed and color coordinated. I loved going to department stores and seeing their trees, I dreamed of having one one day and now I do. I am no longer a frustrated tree decorator and I get to be as type A as I want. As one of my friend's put it, "did you draw this out and plan where they all go?" What a great idea but no I am not that type A. My family knows that my tree is my special project but to involve the girls in decorating I let them put their ornaments on a ornament tree I got last year and next year I am going to get them their own tree to decorate, I am curious of either of them got my type Aness?

Our house is Christmas ready, the tree is up, the presents are bought and wrapped and now it is time for parties and vacation!! Happy decorating every one!!!