It's not always as green as it seems

Have you ever looked at someones life and thought "they really have it all together"? Hold on, I am not saying I think I look like I have it all together, I am no where near that self absorbed or that sure of my self. What I am saying is things are not always as they seem. Sometimes the grass appears to be greener on the other side but if you really went in you might quickly discover it is no greener than yours. I don't know how my life appears to you guys on the outside. I imagine it looks like we are having fun and doing some fun things during the week. The grass isn't that green, ya we go out and do things but that is purely out of survival because I decided before summer started that if I didn't keep the girls busy we would all go crazy. here is a glimpse inside my so called greener grass. Stefan is either working or at school; if he is at home he is studying or sleeping because he is physically and mentally exhausted. He is stressed and tensions are high for both of us. The girls play well until they want what the other has, they get hungry or are bored. Oh man if they get bored watch out because there is no satisfying them until you do something. And then there is the dreaded question every morning and every afternoon "where are we going today/ tonight?" And, yes I am hanging out with other mom's and trying to make new friends, but for those of you who are not introverted enough to be happy home alone and not quite extroverted enough to just invite the whole world over, you know how hard making new friends really is, no one likes being the new guy. So I guess you could say in midst of our fun busyness I have been very lonely.

You see our grass isn't all that green but I wouldn't say it is dead either. I have been spending time with the two Tracy's (Traci/Tracy) and I have been having fun. I am thankful for both of them; for Tracy reaching out and including me in her group and for the opportunity to spend time with an old friend, Traci. Going to the pool every week is not so bad either and neither is being able to shop. I hope I haven't lost too many of you who are thinking "poor Tracy gets to be home with her kids and go swimming and go out and shop," but I just wanted to take some time and talk about what is really going on. In our private separate society it is easy to put up masks that look good, I just wanted to take mine down for a moment and let you see my real life, it is not always easy or fun but I know I have been blessed beyond what I deserve and even though it is hard I really wouldn't trade my life for anything. Even though someone else's life may look easier or better, I know better, we all have junk, some of us are just better at hiding it than others. By the way I am one of those who sometimes should hide just a little better, but then again maybe my openness is for someones benefit I don't even know about, who knows!

Next time you catch your self eyeing someone else's life and wondering if it is better than yours or if it seems so great, remember what your mom used to always say, "the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence." It is true.

Think about it this way, there could be no grass at all. However green or not green you grass is be thankful for what you have and who you have in your life, thay are there for a reason.