Sunday, July 20, 2008

The mom factor

Have you ever looked at your husband and wondered why he gets liberties that you don't. Let me give you some examples, and I am not saying these all happen in my house but some do. For example, they can go run an errand without making sure you are going to be home and it isn't expected that they have to take the kids. They can get up from the table when they are done and not have to wait for everyone else. Or this one, everything that has to do with the kids (feeding, preparing food, taking to restroom, getting ready for bed, or getting them dressed) is expected mom duty.


I realize this sounds like a huge rant and really I do realize my role is the nurturer and it is my job to take care of the kids but every once in a while it gets annoying that I don't get the same liberties or freedoms my husband gets. Sometimes I would love to just say bye and be able to leave without having to first make sure:

#1. that he will even be home
#2. that you leaving works with is plans.
Come on, what about my plans!!!!!! I don't want to have to always get clearance and ask first, I just want to up and go.


I have to defend my husband before you start pegging him for the bad husband award. He does a lot for and with the girls. If he is home he gets them up and pottied, when we go somewhere as a family he always buckles Alyssa up, and he always lets me run my errands without complaining. He is a great Dad!!!!


I get frustrated by the double standard we put on ourselves as moms. Really it isn't our husbands that demand we ask their permission or check with them first or make things as easy as possible for them when we are gone, like by only leaving when the kids are napping. We put these things on ourselves, or at least I do. It is out of courtesy that we do this because God wired us that way. He made us to nurtures and take care of the house hold. I often have to remind myself of that when I get upset with Stefan for being and Man.



So ladies I say give your self permission to leave the kids with daddy when they are not napping, tell him you'll be back when ever you get done, and wait for him to change the diaper instead of jumping so fast. Most importantly, ask for what you need. I get so made at my husband for not reading my mind, but really did God make him a mind reader and not tell me? No, I don't think so!!


And just because I know you love the pictures here are some from 4th of July that prove what a great Dad my husband really is:

Doing sparklers for hours without one cool firework in sight for himself.

Taking them on a walk so I can get ready in peace.

Swimming with them in freezing cold water when there is NO WAY I am getting in.
Stefan, you are a great dad and we all LOVE YOU!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is somtimes hard to remember we are wired differently. You just have to keep reminding yourself. Stefan is a great dad AND you are a great mom!!!
Mom

Tracy said...

I have had that exact same thought. Why can't we just let ourselves off the hook sometimes???

The pictures are cute. It is great to have a good husband and father. We are very blessed!