I love my Ballerina

My little girl is the most beautiful Ballerina! For Kaylin's winter recital her teacher decided to make it an out reach and dance at a retirement home. It was a great idea and really blessed the residents. I say Kaylin is the best ballerina because she didn't do her tap dance. Kaylin is a talented dancer but performing is a little harder, it has to be her idea. The tap dance wasn't so she didn't. It's not that she didn't like the dance, it's that her tap class was first class out and she was not ready yet. By the time it was her classes turn to do their ballet dance she was ready and was breath taking, but let the pictures speak for them selves.

Twirl, Twirl, Twirl!

Look at her technique, she is so beautiful!

Ready, set, dance.

Kaylin, with the girls in her class.

A Girl and A Boy...

It's official, we have entered the CRAZY boy crazy world! My 4 going on 12 year old daughter has her first crush and I as her mother am not sure how I feel about this. Part of me is so excited, part of me is horrified that my almost 5 year old daughter has a crush, and part of me is at a total loss as to what to say, think, or do. Let me give you a sample of recent conversations;
Me: How do you want to do your hair today? Do you want a pony tail?

Kaylin: Yes, cause then Johnathan will think I am pretty!

Another day getting ready for school,
Me: Why don't you wear this shirt? (a shirt with a collar on it)

kaylin: No, I can't wear this shirt, Johnathan won't know me in this shirt, he won't like me in it.

We have actually had the shirt conversation more than once, in fact at least once a week. We have had it so much that Daddy is having a conversation tonight about girls who dress to impress boys and being independent and unique, that should be good.
This morning Kaylin informed me she was going to marry Johnathan at recess because and I quote " he's cute and he thinks I'm pretty and we are going to get married." AGHH, what is a mother to think, to say, to do!! I silently laugh and cry all at the same time. The icing on the cake was a conversation between Me, kaylin, and Chloe on the way to school this morning, and you guessed it, it was about Our favorite little boy.
Kaylin: Chloe, I'm going to marry Johnathan at recess today.

Chloe: No, I'm going to marry Johnathan today!

kaylin: We can both marry him because he is cute and he thinks, we are both pretty!

Me: You girls are both too young to be marrying any one!!

Kaylin: (whispering) My mom is so crazy!

Me: You are DEFINITELY too young to say I am crazy, you can't say that until you are a teenager.

At thins point I am laughing so hard on the inside because she sounds like a teenager saying I am crazy. The sad thing is there will be a day when she really will think I am crazy and these conversations will be for real. For now it so cute seeing here pretend to be so sophisticated and mature; talking about boys and her crazy mom.

Pretty Princesses

Halloween is such a fun time to dress up and getting candy on end. It is also the best night in the whole year for seeing princesses and super heroes every where you look, my girls were no exception. I had a Tinker Bell and a Butterfly Fairy; they were simply adorable!! At Kaylin's school they had a carnival, Festival 31, it was huge, so crowded, but the girls had fun. They played games, jumped in bounce houses, and ate yummy hot dogs.

Here they are, Tinker Bell and the Butterfly Fairy!
Alyssa was a little speed racer on the track, could she reach the pedals, NO, did that slow her down, NO!!

"What do I want to eat real fast while no one is looking, no a sucker will not be fast enough, I will get caught" By Alyssa

FUN, FUN, FUN, the games were so much fun.

Stefan and I also had fun with the dressing up thing. His friend Ryan had a costume party and we went as talking mimes because there is no way either of us could commit to true mime
silence, it would have killed us both.

Aren't we the best looking mimes you have ever seen? I gotta say this was totally Stefan's idea and it was so much fun. We had fun getting ready and freaking people out on the way in the car, you should have seen the looks we got, it was great!

True love needs no words! Se we are good mimes!

Technology, gotta love it!

Okay, so I finally got a new cell phone,YEA! For those of you who have talked to me on my old phone, you know how happy a day this is for me. It is so cool; it has a mp3 player, FM tuner, camera, and even a pedometer (what ever that is for, walking or something). I even got a much coveted bluetooth for FREE, yes, the phone and the bluetooth were FREE, could it be any better that that. I got a cool phone with awesome features and it was FREE! Did I say it was FREE, I love free stuff. Any way it came in the mail and I ripped into it like a kid on Christmas morning to start playing, big mistake. There is a reason I usually opt for the basic phone, they usually don't tick me off. As I began trying to figure things out I was quickly reminded why I hate technology, it is complicated and no one can make simple easy to follow directions that actually work. At one point I was as mad at this, my new FREE phone, as I am at the old one (which will get a slow painful death), it was pathetic. Of course being a man, because they have some technology gene in there DNA, Stefan came in and fixed what took me an hour to figure out in mere minutes, I hate it!!
As for the mentioned death to the old phone, Stefan and I talked about how healing it would be to physically destroy these phones that have given us such hell for the last month. Stefan decided to run over his phone but that is far too quick of a death for me, oh no, my phone will suffer and it will hurt. As I told my sister the plan she asked me, "You realize the phone can't really feel, right?" I guess my plan does sound sinister but it will make me feel soooo good that I can't wait to do it tomorrow after church. My phone has a death sentence that will be slowly and painfully delivered. AHH revenge, it is sweet, even if it is against a piece of stupid technology. Tomorrow I will have pictures of the cell phone death. I realize this talk about slowly killing my phone and being excited makes me sound crazy, but there is a small part of me that is taking out so many things on this poor phone. But hey, it ticked me off, and besides, it doesn't know any different, and I can take my frustrations out on it, it will be great!! Stay tuned for great pics tomorrow.

Yes I'm still Here!!

I know I haven't posted in a while, sorry. Life has been busy with school and Stefan's crazy schedule. Thankfully work is finally slowing down for Stefan and we are getting some much needed time together. As I think about the last few months there is a lot that has been going on. Last weekend I got to go to Mexico and it was so much fun. Being in another country, even though it is just barely across the border, was culturally eye opening. Just like so many of you I am guilty of stereotyping and I found my stereotypes are completely wrong. Other than traveling to Mexico we have been having fun being a family.

Alyssa, who is the light of my life, is so sweet and cute, and let me tell you she knows it. She'll say "I'm cute!" and she is right. She is such a joy to parent and I really enjoy watching her grow and discover new things. And Kaylin, my beautiful ballerina, is learning to write her name and is loving science; making discoveries about the world around her. She is so smart and she really picks things up fast.

Alyssa is so close to being able to do a flip, but for now she loves looking through her legs.

I love my little mermaids, they are so cute.

My ballerina in training, her favorite thing is to put on "ballet" and dance to Wiggles.

How can you not think she is the cutest thing ever, and those pig tails re getting so long.

Back to School

After much anticipation and longing school has FINALLY begun for the family. Kaylin and I are both in school and started this week. One of us had a much easier start than the other and keep in mind one of us is taking Anatomy II, who had the breakdown? Nope not me, Kaylin. There was much excitement in the air, especially mine, until it came time to walk in the door and suddenly the excitement was lost. So what is a mom to do when the excitement is lost and your child needs to go to school so you can get on with celebrating back to school day mommy style. You employ the help of any teacher you can, past or present it doesn't really matter. What finally got her in the room, was it her favorite teacher from last year, Mrs. Melear, or her P.E. teacher? The winner is the P.E. teacher!! God bless her for helping kaylin get settled and for letting me get on with my own celebration. As many moms know back to school isn't just about your child and school, it is also about getting your normal life back which includes a small break with shopping and lunch dates every other day to help you be a better mom the other days when they are at home all day. Don't get me wrong, I love Kaylin very much, but we both enjoy having other authority figures in her life. Any way here are some pictures of my big girl on her first day of preschool, the last year before kindergarten.

Here we are proudly displaying the caterpillar name tag!

Here we are with all the essentials a girl needs for school, you know like a lunch, a mat, and a backpack.

Here we in front of school mostly smiling but still excited. By the way the sun was in her eyes.

Here is where the excitement changed to "absolute not going to let you leave me here" mom!

Swim Lessons

The last two weeks Kaylin had her first swimming lessons. If you know Kaylin at all you know it was not easy to convince her to get in, she is terrified of the water. Let me just tell you the story. The first day she wouldn't even get in the kiddie pool until finally after class and the other kids were gone she got comfortable and got in and didn't want to get out. Once she conquered the kiddie pool it was on the the big pool, which as you can imagine didn't go so well. Finally on the last day she did a sitting jump off the side and floated on her front and her back. She was so proud of her self and so was I, she finally earned her Tinkerbell purse!! So what now, well school starts in two weeks so lets hope she hangs on this braver attitude for nine months, but the reality of that happening is very slim so we will start over next summer but with the hope and expectation that she will conquer her fears and and be brave again.
I thought swimming lessons were about learning to swim, but for Kaylin it was not about that; after all learning to swim is just technique. For Kaylin, swimming lessons were about trusting some one else, about facing her fears, and about being brave enough to conquer those fears.
I have picturs on my camera but right now I have to go dry my hair so tomorrow I will get pics up.

Kaylin is great at floating with Alban, especially in the kiddie pool

Here is the big moment, JUMPING in off the side in the big pool.

Here she is with her certificate, proof she conquered her fears, YEAH Kaylin!!

Promised Pictures

Here they are, pictures from Branson.

Three Princesses, they are so adorable! This was their favorite thing to do. Every night they all dressed up as princesses and danced around.

Panty pool party. We were filling the pool so the water could warm up to swim in later but the girls couldn't wait, so they stripped down and swam.

The lake was an adventure, no one wanted to smile, no one wanted to look at the camera.

"Say Cheese mommy" Alyssa took my picture taking her picture, but aren't the babies cute in their matching pj's?

On our night out the baby sitters, God bless them, gave the girls a bath and took so me pictures. Here I imagine Alyssa saying NOOOOOOO, her favorite word, after all she is two!

I AM BACK

I AM BACK!! After TEN long days of no computer it is finally fixed and I am back on line, I missed the Internet so much. Today while the girls are down I will post some long promised pictures. In the mean time know that i am back and here to stay!!

Branson, Not just for the "Silver Hair"

This past weekend me and the girls went to Branson with my mom. While I originally thought Branson was for the "silver hairs" I was schooled on the truth. Branson is a fun beautiful place with horrible traffic. There are so many fun things to do and shows to see. The shopping is great and so is the food, by the way I ate Sushi and I loved it!!
Any way we had so much fun. I gotta say the best part was Friday going shopping without the kids, it was GREAT!!! While we were shopping Cindy and I decided it was time to do a little personal shopping for my mom. We had a dressing room full of clothes for her. It was hard for her to let us pick things out for her but it was really fun and she did buy some things we picked which means we must have good taste.
I know I keep promising pics but our computer has a virus and is being fixed so as soon as I get it back pics will be going up ASAP.

The girls

This weekend we are in Branson, yes tourist city USA for the silver hairs of America, or at least I thought. The truth is Branson is really pretty and caters to all ages. There is great food, amazing shopping, shows and theaters on ever corner, and beautiful landscapes. I am also having so much fun hanging out with my sister and my mom. The girls are so great playing together, Kaylin of course is the mother hen and Alyssa just does what she wants.
The drive was almost uneventful except for a slight spin out and getting a little lost in Springdale. But on a brighter note, the girls did great and my mom is an amazing long distance driver, I was shocked. Today I am going to take pictures of Branson to post.
See all in a few days!!!

My baby

Last week officially marked the end of Alyssa being a baby with the removal of the grandest sign of babiness, her crib. Our dear Friends are having their second baby next month and so the crib has been passed on. It is bittersweet seeing it go. I know she is big enough and ready but on the sad side it means my baby girl is growing up and their is nothing I can do to stop it, I'll blink and she'll be going to college, CRY, CRY! Any Way, she loves her bed and is doing so good staying in bed and not playing. She is such a great kids, she just goes with the flow.

What a big girl!

All tucked in ready for nighty-night, isn't she so adorable?

I told her, "close your eyes." So she covered them.

It so so strange how fast life flies by, I just brought her home from the hospital and now there is nothing in my house to even signify that a baby lives her and that is because I don't have babies but little girls. That is a sad realization for me because it means having babies is done for me, ; on the brighter side it means my girls are getting bigger and more independent and are able o do more and that is more fun!! So if I must say good bye to babies I do because I am excited about the fun things to come as I watch them learn and grow. Forgive me if I do have moments of sadness as I watch this process, I've been told that is normal.

Update

By the way, yesterday marked on eweek with no accidendts. as a reward kaylin got the Tinker Bell Polly Pockets. YEAH me, I mean YEAH Kaylin!!

Potty Training, Who's it Really Training?

A mom disclaimer, this mom talk may not be appreciated by those who have not yet embarked on this journey; or it may be hilarious, or it may make you never want to go on this journey ( I hope not, it is worth it)! Having said that, Kaylin has been potty trained for over 2 1/2 years, but has always slept in pull-ups keeping them filled to the brim every night, with a dry night not even in sight. I kept thinking,"eventually she will stay dry and out grow this." Eventually kept not coming and she is going to be five and I began to fear this may require intervention and the "on her own part" may never happen. The reality is as long as she is in a pull-up her body thinks she has a diaper on and therefore will never stay dry. So knowing me, I made a plan to get her out of the pull-ups. The plan you see, was three fold; 1. to get her going to the bathroom more during the day, every other hour, try remembering that! 2. cut the drinks off at 6:00pm sharp, 3. and the kicker, get her up for one last potty time before I go to bed, staying up until 11:00pm. most nights, which is rough most nights. The irony is, every morning she gets rewarded for staying dry, but really what did she do to earn it, I told her to go potty, I got her up at 11:00 every night, I cut the drinks off, and she gets rewarded, where is my reward? Why is the child rewarded for the mother's efforts? In a perfect world this all seems a little unfair. You may be thinking way to go Tracy you are working so hard and you are not getting rewarded every morning, you deserve a treat. And I would be saying, "you are right, I do deserve a reward." But, this is not a perfect world, and my biggest reward every morning is that I didn't have to get up to change sheets, I get to sleep all night. My reward is seeing my daughter succeed and feel proud of her self for staying dry. So maybe she really isn't doing any thing right now to stay dry and all the dryness comes from my efforts, but one day it will be all her effort that keeps her dry and the confidence I am giving her now will make that possible. So I say to my self, you are dong the work now to empower your daughter to do it in the future. Now if I could just get Alyssa potty trained I won't have to buy any more diapers. With any luck and little planing, which I am the master at :), she will totally potty trained by January. Just imagine it, in 5 months I could be diaper and pull-up free. What will I do with the extra money every month, but don't you worry, Stefan will finally get more meat!!

For a Reason

WOW I have the best friends ever! This past week has been my own little pity party (see the above post) and my friends left the greatest comments that reminded me of truth I needed to hear and that they care about and love me, awe how sweet! On with today. I am a firm believer that is a reason for everything that happens. Perhaps being alone is for a reason, perhaps all my human excuses for being to busy for God are busy for a reason, perhaps this is my chance to take my loneliness and let God fill the void. I am guilty of running to so many other things before God and for the time being all those things (IE. people) seem to all be taken away. This whole thought process isn't that this happened to me but that it happened for me, to draw near to God. So many times I hear that still voice and I ignore it or make excuses to respond later. Well, we will see where this goes and what choices I make. I hope I make the right choices and take advantage of htis time and respond to God and stop putting Him off.

Change, isn't it GRAND!

Lately it feels like so many things in my life are chaining, being in school every night to being out of school, Stefan not working much to working most evenings and Saturdays, summer time (no school for Kaylyn), and on and on. I like to think I adapt to change well but truth be told I don't, I get very lonely and depressed. I always expect it won't be so bad and the I am "pleasantly" surprised by the fact that it is harder than expected. The hardest change I am currently having to adapt to is my friend going to work full time. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited for her and proud of her for being brave and starting something new. I know this is a great thing for her and her family. With that being said, I miss being able to call her when ever I want and talk for an hour or two, I miss being able to do things during the day, although that has been rare lately due to schedules, and I will miss picking our girls up from school together. Change sucks but the truth is God never promises that life will stay the same and that things won't change, it is inevitable and how you handle it is important. I guess for me I need to learn how to better handle change. How that looks I don't know, I didn't say I had all the answers, I just know I need to handle it better. Maybe that means I need a more positive out look or, and this is gut level honesty, I need to make it less about me (OUCH). The truth is I much to often make it about me when really it isn't about me that much. "Get over your self Tracy!" I should tell my self that often. Change is a part of life and I need to learn to go with it and accept it rather than fighting it. Life is changing and I don't quite like it yet, I know I will adjust and it will seem like it has always been this way but until then I guess I am morning the loss of certain things. Forgive me for my pity party, but sometimes we all need to get it out to deal with it and move on, so maybe now I can get over it and move on. Wish me luck! If you know me at all you know the battle I am fighting and that I need good luck.

Life is changing and I don't quite like it yet, I know I will adjust and it will seem like it has always been this way but until then I guess I am morning the loss of certain things. Forgive me for my pity party, but sometimes we all need to get it out to deal with it and move on, so maybe now I can get over it and move on. Wish me luck! If you know me at all you know the battle I am fighting and that I need good luck.

Super Mom

Ok I got to put a disclamer out there so there is no confusion about by signature name. If you are any thing like me, and I think on some level all moms are, we need positive affirmation. In a world that says you're not good enough, be this, do this, it is hard to feel like you are a good mom. To remind myself and all the other super moms out there I sign my post, By "Super Mom." So you see I am not overly confident in myself, at least in this area, or an ego maniac; I am just trying to remind myself in a simple way that I am a SUPER MOM!

The motherload

OK, so I have been informed by more than one person, Cindy & kareah, that I need more pics, well hang on a second because I just figured it out so get ready for the mother load. By the way for some nameless person (Cindy) who says she (Cindy) can't remember what my kids look like, here you go, now you know who your nieces are! For the rest of you who have waited patiently for me to join the 21st century and email pics, and for those of you who really don't care here they are!!!!

Here we are at Daisy and Erik's wedding, it was so

It was sooooo sweet to see Stefan dancing with Kaylin!!

Alyssa had a blast doing what she does best EAT!!

Here are some 4th of July pics.

For those of you who have missed the last few months, sorry but to post that many pics. I would never leave the computer and would shut down the Blogger site. So you will get a fresh start from here. Any way, even I missed the last month, Anatomy was my life. By the way for those who don't know by some miracle I acctually got an A YEAH!!!!

It got to late to do fire works on the Fourth so the next night after school we did sparklers in the driveway in the rain.

First Posting

Well, here we go again at attempt # 2 at a blog. Hopefully I will be good at this and post regularly! stay in touch so you see all the lastest pics and read all the latest happenings.